A Dedication: Before She Dies

It’s quite hard for me to say this since I’ve never been here before.
I need to get this off my chest because if I don’t I will become dillusional
Something has happened between us and I don’t know what else to do but run. I never let things get this far or someone this close. I always find my way out, but for some reason im always led back to you. By now you should’ve been gone.
You’ve opened me up and although you told me not to close its the only thing I know how to do.
This is no longer a sexual fling although that has played a part. However, it is more spiritual than anything. You have found a way to make me focus on you, and you’ve also helped me find my truth.
The truth you may ask what is it exactly and it is this:
You are my soulmate which I’ve never believed existed, nobody wants me to know you because of the growth, warmth, and security you have given me. Most importantly I can’t be stopped.

Since I can not be tamed its driving people insane knowing that they are no longer
allowed in my world, because they understand that I am aware of their doing. It kills them that they can’t cross me because they don’t understand what it means to be on the other side of life. Which is not freedom, but honesty.
I’ve known for a very long time that I was meant to be alone, and I was trying to push you away because I never knew how alone I was until I met you.
Every time I spend time with you it is as if you’ve always been around.
Since we’ve become physical beings in each others lives, together we are making an impact as the world falls back into place and saves its self from humanity’s wreckage. Now the knowing doesn’t know anymore, and the world has let go of all of the foolish rubbish that has constantly been thrown in its face.
However, deep down I feel I will wake up and you will only be a dream, memory, or phase.

I feel as if I’m in this fight alone, and I’m afraid the universe will take you away, and there was never a we and all along it was only me because you really were just a dream, memory, or phase.
I know you are older and have more life under your belt on how to survive, and you’ve told me why a thousand times it is this way. But for some reason I can’t remember the reason due to distractions of being a women, having my all seeing eye open, along with reaching my eighth sense.
However, the many times you tell me im going to leave I’m angry at the fact that I might, because the way everything is set up it forces me to want to go since I have no more strength in me to put up with the fight for love that I believe exists between us. Although I don’t want to go because you are such a beautiful spirit, I’m being selfish staying. I dont want you to win the fight of being right because I believe in so much more. While at the same time its hard for me to take the pain of lonliness anymore, I know you’re changing well at least I thought you were, but I think my mind was trying to make me believe in something unseen since you always return back to who and what you are.
I’ve accepted who I know you to be and I believe it when you say you are giving me all that you can. Just understand if I do end up leaving its because you put it in the air on how we were to end.
It saddens me to say this since it has taken me so long to get this off my chest, but nomore did I want to be hurting inside, or angry with your words, and fighting for what I believe was right for us since an us probably never existed and won’t exist. I just had to set this part of me free, since I’m getting closer to the me who continues to rebirth, and still love you unconditionally in truth.

End of A World

10 years ago I never would’ve thought of a world without seeing your face.

Although, the last time we spoke was in the spring I didn’t think it would end up that way.

I was still hurt from the lies, even though you were in a deeper hole

We always thought something good would’ve come out of our love, but the world had something else in store.

I hope that you are fine and not dwelling on your past. Since I know how passionate you are about life and love I now understand why you run and hide whenever you get a chance to escape.

It wasn’t until you let me go I realized I had to do this thing called life alone.

I would love to thank you because we lasted for a more than a decade, and we were able to teach and learn from one another that nothing lasts forever.

I am not upset anymore because I know we would’ve never worked. However, I do need to know that you still exist on this planet enjoying your special day and smiling that beautiful smile. As I sit alone drinking tea and remembering those crazy conversations.

You would always say everything is okay, and I cared way too much, for the first time ever I finally believe you. Since I now see what you did was out true love and protection for me.

I’m Just Not Into You

It was the middle of class and everyone went out to break except for a girl  and a guy that walked her to her car once while making conversation about a test.
” We should get coffee after class,”he says.
” Oh I can’t I left my wallet,” she replies.
” Don’t worry I have enough money for the two of us,” he says.
” Your sweet, but no thanks.”
” Aw come on.”
” Fine,” she gives in.
While getting coffee he began to ask her questions about who she is.
“So what happened to you and your ex-boyfriend,” he asks taking a sip.
” My ex-boyfriend? Oh we’re working it out he’s out of town, so we’re taking our time,” she says playfully.
Poor guy was crushed. He took a sip and thought about something else to talk about.
She began to talk about her favorite type of films and immediately cut the break short after she realized the time.

You’ll Never Know

When I get a message from you
You’ll never know how much light surrounds me
When you say little things that make me confuse
You’ll never know how much I want more
I may be a little harsh but its because of where we’ve been
I know it  was the past, but youll never know how I love not knowing where we will end
The little things matter just a simple hello, or a smile from you
You’ll never know that deep in my heart I think/know it’s you I should be close to
It’s you that deserves my love
You’ll never know because we are just friends in this life

After Release Effect

Was it all in my mind?

I finished my ultimate goal and I expected drums to roll

The only thing that is different is my glow

I’m free

In my own skin

I can breathe

Why hasn’t anybody told me

 

“With Somebody Else” Included Chapter Sample and Buy

It is now official.

My first fiction novel “With Somebody Else” is up for grabs

With somebody else is about Cain trying to reunite with his ex-lover Lilith that has moved on with her soul mate after she put Cain under a spell

Below is a sample:

I killed her and his baby. I know that I can’t live without her, but for her to bring another mans child into this world knowing how I feel about her I couldn’t have that. I did a good job killing her to. Well I can’t take all of the credit she did it willing.

He was out-of-town as usual, and she just got home from grocery shopping. I’ve followed her home after the last night I spent with her and she announced she was pregnant jokingly, but for some reason I knew she was lying. Since I could not live with the thought of not knowing I decided to stalk her.

I watched as she took the groceries out of the car, and back into the house for 10 minutes. Her normal routine of getting the mail scamming for what had her name on it and putting the rest back into the box. She was so weird I thought, weird and beautiful in her floral print chiffon dress and sandals. Her hair was wild as usual and the day just seemed to warm up by her jolly demeanor. I smiled at the thought that she was amazing, but I knew she had to go. Closing the door, I sat in the car for about 10 more minutes contemplating whether or not I should go through with my plan, and came to the conclusion that she deserved what was coming to her.

Aborted and Raped

I need a change she thought,

I wonder what the world has to offer?

“Your so pretty,” he says.

“I want you to be mine,” he says.

“But I don’t want you I just came to have fun,” she pulls away.

Thrown down and legs spread apart he won’t let her go.

She begs to stop, but can’t pull away.

The tears come pouring down her face and he forces himself into her.

She fights, but is to weak and he cums inside of her and says thanks as he wipes off her juices and pulls his pants back up.

24 Hours Until Publication (First Chapter Sample)

Becoming a self-publish author isn’t as easy as I thought it was.

I now understand why publishing companies charge so much for their services.

The work is tedious, more tedious than writing the perfect manuscript. Then there is the wait. I’m happy now that my soon to be published book ” With Somebody Else” is formatted correctly, cover is immaculate. ( I can do better, but my heart is telling me to stick with the design I created because it is one of a kind), and best of all I only have 24 hours left to provide the link of purchase.

A Journey To The End

(Photo Taken December 18, 3013 Venice, CA

As these last weeks of the year unfold
I find myself closing numerous doors
I float about in the clouds
Yet, I walk alone on the ground
No love lost, No love found
I rather be with you
But your nowhere to be found
So I tell myself to continue my destiny and make my name profound in every man’s voice
That way through me your light will be found

Debroah’s Affair: Love Junk

Continued from….

Time began to past and Debroah was tired of fighting with herself over Kevin, so she began to rekindle past relationships.

Debroah was a heart breaker in the past but once she met Kevin all of that changed and now she was suffering the pain she caused on many hearts.

Debroah called up old flings to see why she treated them the way she did also to see if the fire was still the same when she left before, ” I said I would come back.” She thought as she sent e-mails and “how are you stranger,” messages to old lovers.

Some didn’t respond, and Deborah understood why. She wasn’t a sweet, good girl they thought she was, but as a couple of days passed she had dates set up with all of her ex-lovers.

Debroah was not a whore although she’s been in multiple relationships. She just changed guys when they couldn’t change with her, so looking from the outside in she was quite popular among men, but they all respected her.

Her first date was with an ex-boyfriend that parted ways without goodbyes.

“Tyler,” she said as she grabbed her glass of wine for a sip.

“Debroah,” he replied as he grabbed her other hand to kiss.

Tyler sat down and glanced about the restaurant then back to Debroah. The waiter came to serve his drink then walked away. The two sat in silence for a couple seconds taking in the moment. It’s been over three years since they last seen each other, and to this very second neither one of them were able to recall why they parted ways.

“Married?” Debroah asked after she noticed the band around Tyler’s ring finger.

Tyler lifted his hand up to his face and smiled as he twisted the ring around, ” No,” he said. ” Well not to anyone at least, I am married to my career. I’m surprised nobody has tied you down yet.”

“So am I, what have you been up to lately since you haven’t crossed over to the other side yet?” Debroah asked.

” Not much, traveling, working, I actually just came back from South America, I went over to work on a project for this small town that needed homes rebuilt due to natural disasters the news doesn’t report,” he replied. ” How about you? Where have you been?”

“Well I haven’t been to South America, or out the country this year, but I just moved back from Chicago, and boy was that cold,” she responded.

” How did you end up in Chicago? I don’t remember that ever being apart of your plans,” he asked.

” Work.”

“Interesting.”

Food was served and they ate in silence. Debroahs phone began to ring and it startled the two of them. Kevin name flashed on the screen and Debroah sent the call to voice mail. After dinner Debroah and Tyler parted ways with plans to see each other again soon.

When Debroah finally sat in her car she contemplated whether or not to call Kevin back until his name popped up on the screen again and she answered.

To be continued