Intoxicated Soul

The thirst begins around 3 p.m. and I wonder should I get coffee or something stronger to drink.

It’s been a week since I’ve been in your arms, because the two of us are very busy, yet it just makes my soul numb.

The only thing to do in order to feel alive again is to drink, smoke or do a little more than I should. However, I just lay in bed with my glass in hand waiting for you to get off work, so I can be in your arms again.

An intoxicated soul I have, the only time the pain goes away is when I am crying or getting high.

How is it that the only time I am able to find my soulmate my soul has to be intoxicated.

Everyone is calling wondering if I am okay, is it because for once my silent cries are heard at night. My dying soul is reaching out for help. Why is now that I’ve given my all to one person everyone wants to care.

No one was there when my intoxicated soul began to deteriorate, but everyone wants to be around, now that there is only enough of it left to love it’s broken pieces and darkness and it is only strong enough to let one person in.

I wouldn’t trade my intoxicated soul for anything else. Never in my life, I believed soulmates existed until now. No longer do I need something stronger to take away pain because there isn’t any pain knowing my soulmate exists. no longer will I have to search for someone new.

The game is over. The only thing that resides is faith.

End of A World

10 years ago I never would’ve thought of a world without seeing your face.

Although, the last time we spoke was in the spring I didn’t think it would end up that way.

I was still hurt from the lies, even though you were in a deeper hole

We always thought something good would’ve come out of our love, but the world had something else in store.

I hope that you are fine and not dwelling on your past. Since I know how passionate you are about life and love I now understand why you run and hide whenever you get a chance to escape.

It wasn’t until you let me go I realized I had to do this thing called life alone.

I would love to thank you because we lasted for a more than a decade, and we were able to teach and learn from one another that nothing lasts forever.

I am not upset anymore because I know we would’ve never worked. However, I do need to know that you still exist on this planet enjoying your special day and smiling that beautiful smile. As I sit alone drinking tea and remembering those crazy conversations.

You would always say everything is okay, and I cared way too much, for the first time ever I finally believe you. Since I now see what you did was out true love and protection for me.

Autumn In California

As the drought continues

We still are pushing through

With less water nearing

Work does not stop

The oceans has rose, but that doesn’t mean anything yet

When we will we get rainfall is what we just need in order to get everything back in check

Winter is around the corner, yet the sun still shines

While sea walruses rest on the beach shore in Alaska because there aren’t any ice sheets in sight

The Earth is dying

The whispers get louder

The Earth is birthing as the old book states

We’ve done our part

It’s just time we evolve to the next phase

Love, Bliss, Peace

All those activist fighting to save the planet and humanity will now be able to rest as we come together and do what is best.

My Soul Dies

Stuck in confusion I didn’t know where I was going. Demons clinging on I was in war with myself and everyone around.

The earth is dying. The earth is dying the whispers would get louder at night.

Holding myself tight while crying myself to sleep I ask God for one more chance and I promise I can change and fix everything.

No response does a God even exist? What is happening to the world. How can people live like this?

Am I the only one that cares? still no one tries to listen.

I take my last breath and finally there’s a silence.

” Love me again, I am your friend,”

I remember this feeling but I forgot who was the owner of it

I look into my eyes in the mirror and realize that the old soul in me has died.

A part of me I didn’t know how to set free and it would make me seem like I’ve lost my mind because I was trying to keep the old and new me at once fearing that I would no longer have friends, but what friends do I need?

Another one deep breath  I see no longer my old soul lives inside of me.

This new soul many don’t know, but my new soul is what allowed me to grow,love, care, share, and receive.

My new soul is what has took me on the path of eternity.

Love Vs. Lust

Love Vs. Lust
A difference between the two
Thin line yet they are not easily defined
Lust can over power ones mind and make you believe its love,bUT in reality you nor the partner had a feeling to spare
Love Vs. Lust
Gentle touches not by the hands but by a breeze when you think about your women or man.
Happy feelings, compromises you know it exists yet your saddened
It is embedded to easily fall apart when you fall in love because as a human we all know we will lose that person one day because we live to die
Even if you find the love of your life

Trip up

Many times you find your self lost
You wonder what has happened and then there is a headache, a cry, lost of breath, you trip and fall
Fall into darkness and wahlah your found
A repeat of the beginning
You remember who you are and wonder where did the first mistake occur
Sleeping with the devil you feel your soul cry
No matter which way you turn there is the same route that you were once on before
You decide to fix everything that you messed up, or go into the light
Yes! The light.
It sometimes gets really dim and then there’s this beauty of brightness with multiple colors separated yet smeared together
But your heart tells you that something was forgotten so you continue to roam in the darkness
Until you recieve the call to run
Run for your life again.

Silly Life

I fall down
I lose
I workhard
I sometimes succeed
I don’t dwell on errors
I focus on trials

I get through errors

And everything is literally ok
It’s life to ride the roller-coaster
It’s not easy to survive especially when the lifestyle you strive is to be inspiring, financially free, and happy
I don’t regret the paths I choose although I know its the only reason why im stress
But I refuse to be another number when I have a name to stand for
I’m ok even when the sky is grey because when the sun shines I know who is really there for me even after all of my silly mistakes

You’ll Never Know

When I get a message from you
You’ll never know how much light surrounds me
When you say little things that make me confuse
You’ll never know how much I want more
I may be a little harsh but its because of where we’ve been
I know it  was the past, but youll never know how I love not knowing where we will end
The little things matter just a simple hello, or a smile from you
You’ll never know that deep in my heart I think/know it’s you I should be close to
It’s you that deserves my love
You’ll never know because we are just friends in this life

Now On Kindle: With Somebody Else

Now On Kindle: With Somebody Else

With Somebody Else is my novel that is now available on kindle. 

Aborted and Raped

I need a change she thought,

I wonder what the world has to offer?

“Your so pretty,” he says.

“I want you to be mine,” he says.

“But I don’t want you I just came to have fun,” she pulls away.

Thrown down and legs spread apart he won’t let her go.

She begs to stop, but can’t pull away.

The tears come pouring down her face and he forces himself into her.

She fights, but is to weak and he cums inside of her and says thanks as he wipes off her juices and pulls his pants back up.