It’s quite hard for me to say this since I’ve never been here before.
I need to get this off my chest because if I don’t I will become dillusional
Something has happened between us and I don’t know what else to do but run. I never let things get this far or someone this close. I always find my way out, but for some reason im always led back to you. By now you should’ve been gone.
You’ve opened me up and although you told me not to close its the only thing I know how to do.
This is no longer a sexual fling although that has played a part. However, it is more spiritual than anything. You have found a way to make me focus on you, and you’ve also helped me find my truth.
The truth you may ask what is it exactly and it is this:
You are my soulmate which I’ve never believed existed, nobody wants me to know you because of the growth, warmth, and security you have given me. Most importantly I can’t be stopped.
Since I can not be tamed its driving people insane knowing that they are no longer
allowed in my world, because they understand that I am aware of their doing. It kills them that they can’t cross me because they don’t understand what it means to be on the other side of life. Which is not freedom, but honesty.
I’ve known for a very long time that I was meant to be alone, and I was trying to push you away because I never knew how alone I was until I met you.
Every time I spend time with you it is as if you’ve always been around.
Since we’ve become physical beings in each others lives, together we are making an impact as the world falls back into place and saves its self from humanity’s wreckage. Now the knowing doesn’t know anymore, and the world has let go of all of the foolish rubbish that has constantly been thrown in its face.
However, deep down I feel I will wake up and you will only be a dream, memory, or phase.
I feel as if I’m in this fight alone, and I’m afraid the universe will take you away, and there was never a we and all along it was only me because you really were just a dream, memory, or phase.
I know you are older and have more life under your belt on how to survive, and you’ve told me why a thousand times it is this way. But for some reason I can’t remember the reason due to distractions of being a women, having my all seeing eye open, along with reaching my eighth sense.
However, the many times you tell me im going to leave I’m angry at the fact that I might, because the way everything is set up it forces me to want to go since I have no more strength in me to put up with the fight for love that I believe exists between us. Although I don’t want to go because you are such a beautiful spirit, I’m being selfish staying. I dont want you to win the fight of being right because I believe in so much more. While at the same time its hard for me to take the pain of lonliness anymore, I know you’re changing well at least I thought you were, but I think my mind was trying to make me believe in something unseen since you always return back to who and what you are.
I’ve accepted who I know you to be and I believe it when you say you are giving me all that you can. Just understand if I do end up leaving its because you put it in the air on how we were to end.
It saddens me to say this since it has taken me so long to get this off my chest, but nomore did I want to be hurting inside, or angry with your words, and fighting for what I believe was right for us since an us probably never existed and won’t exist. I just had to set this part of me free, since I’m getting closer to the me who continues to rebirth, and still love you unconditionally in truth.