Recently I tried budgeting my paycheck just to see how much I actually spend and where all of my money goes. I didn’t succeed. However, I was able to understand my finances a little better.
For instance, I have more expenses than I have income and that is a terrible hole that I am in because I will have to work triple as hard in order to stay afloat and have money to spend carelessly. Another thing I realized is that I spend a lot of money on coffee, thank God I get free wine from my lover boy (different story), but boy oh boy I really love the Winter Dream Tea Latte for $4.65 at Coffebean.
The budget I gave myself for two weeks was $160. 3/4 of that goes to gas in my car because I live in CA, and although gas prices have gone down it is not low enough for me. Since I like to go out of my way to take care of my personal needs.
So 3/4 subtracted from the $160 left me with $120 to play with. Now sadly for this two-week budget I was not able to go grocery shopping, and that put a hole in my pocket because I ate out for the entire week. I started on Monday and by Tuesday I only had $75 left to spend for the rest of the two weeks. Now I could’ve spread that out, but the world began to cave in on me. I ran out of body wash, so that was 6.00 down the drain, I bought a latte a day because I was exhausted. So 4.65 multiplied by 5 you do the math. I shouldn’t blame my excessive spending habits on my family, but I am today. There was a wedding taking place during that week, so I spent money, pampering myself trying to hang out with family members who were in town, and by the time Sunday came along I only had $15 in my pocket to push me through to the next week of traveling back to work and school with less than half a tank of gas.
Monday morning of the second week rolled along and I had to put gas into my car so that left me with $5 for the next 3 days. So I was forced to eat at home and have breakfast at work for one week because I get a discount on food. I was able to survive. However, I was excited that I actually tried to budget myself and upset because I ended up with nothing in my pocket by the time my next paycheck came around.
Through the stress, I came to a realization that money is meaningless. If I continue to stress about things I believe I need I will always feel broke and like I don’t have enough money. Those two weeks showed me that I do have enough to take care of myself in this time and space that I am currently living in and when it is time for me to have more money in that I would be able to appreciate and handle I will have it.